Take This Day Job and Shove It!
The three jobs you must have before you die.
by Sarah Thurmond

"It's not that actors are born cheap, but they're out of jobs so much they got to be. And most of them have jobs at night—they're busboys, elevator operators, desk clerks, anything that'll leave them free to job hunt during the day and see the managers."

           --Neely in Valley of the Dolls, by Jacqueline Susann

Are you in need of a change of pace or a brand new you? Consider getting a day job. By day job, I mean the kind of job that a typical New York City actor has to work to make ends meet while providing a schedule flexible enough for the occasional open-call audition. You may not be an aspiring actor, but as the following three thespians will attest, having a day job will help you see a different side of human behavior that is guaranteed to improve your own human being-ness.
 
Waiting Tables

According to the latest statistics from the U.S. Department of Labor, 6.8 million people held a food serving or related job in 2004. Of that group, 2,252,000 were waiters and waitresses. So, chances are you or someone you know has handed a stranger a plate of food or filled his water glass.
 
With the obvious exception of custodian work, waiting tables is the most humbling job a person can experience. On every shift, a server has to deal with a barrage of requests (er, demands really) from both the patrons and the staff. There's heavy lifting, long hours on one's feet, restrictive uniforms, sensible shoes, hairnets, food stains, bad tipping, forced smiling, complaints, etc. You would think that with all the people who have held a food service job there would an abundance of common courtesy from our nation's eaters. Unfortunately, that's not the case.
 
Cheri, a New York City actress who served for ten years before hanging up her apron to focus solely on her acting career, worked all over the city in all kinds of food arenas, from a family-owned café to the Manhattan hotspot (and Gwyneth Paltrow hideaway) Balthazar. As one can imagine, the hours were long and the work was often backbreaking, and there were the customers.
 
"I once worked breakfast at a restaurant in Rockefeller Center, which meant, 'Breakfast with Santa' in December," says Cheri. "Lots of kids hyped up already because they are going to see Santa and may go ice-skating. We would feed them a basket of muffins, pancakes & French toast with syrup, hot chocolate, cookies, and of course there was candy on the table. It was the hardest job I had." At one of the places she worked, Cheri also discovered the customer wasn't the only thing she had to worry about. "I worked at a dive-y place on Second Avenue near 34th Street. One of the managers was a lesbian and had a real thing for me. I finally had to quit."
 
But, beyond the greasy gleam of humility Cheri found enjoyment in the work. She often felt a sense of satisfaction helping her customers select the perfect bottle of wine to go with their meal or when it came time to prepare the dining room before opening for the dinner crowd. She enjoyed the camaraderie she experienced with her fellow soldiers in the culinary trenches. She learned how to have more patience with people, improved her hospitality and organizational skills, and discovered a greater respect for other servers who do their job well.
 
"Waiting tables is one of the best ways to really put you to the test," she says. "There's pressure from the customer, the manager, and the chef. You have to keep all the balls in the air and then land them at the right time at the right place and keep everyone happy. When everything is closing in at once and you're 'in the weeds,' as we say in the biz, it can be so overwhelming. But the shift ends and you take your money home, not your work."
 
Now don't forget to tip your server!
 
Temping

Unlike waiting tables, which shows us other people's flaws, temping exposes us to our own, as we shall see in our next actor, John*.
 
There are approximately 2.9 million people—or, the population of Phoenix—working as temps every day in the United States. John is one of them. John, who is in his late 20s, has worked as a temp off and on for over seven years. He estimates he has had more than 20 temp assignments over that period; tasks have included reception, data entry, and proofreading. His current job, working for a personal injury law firm, is his favorite to date. "I get to call the clients and ask them questions about their case or claim," he says. "It's interesting because it's out of the ordinary. There's more skill as a human being, beyond just needing to type."
 
For anyone seeking a 9-to-5 job, temping provides a good view of the inner workings of an office without getting too involved. "You can see really quickly how people treat each other and the hierarchy of it all," says John. He finds that the best part of temping is the choice a temp has over whether or not to stick with a job. "You are able to walk out of any situation that you deem inappropriate," he says. "You have total control over whether or not you want to continue at a place. It makes temping a non-stressful job to have. I can see how people think it would be stressful but the control is in your hands. You call the shots."
 
This take-it-or-leave-it aspect of temping creates an attitude towards temps that leads to the worst part of temping. "There's this social status of being a temp in relation to the people you work with," says John. "Often I feel like it's intimated to me as they speak to me, like there's something wrong with you or you're incomplete or you're not 'with it' whereas everyone else is."
 
Beyond the practical and interpersonal office skills one learns, John finds this palpable contempt towards temps has taught him a lot of unexpected but highly useful new talents, such as how to read people better and "present well" in order to take advantage of and manipulate situations. "It's taught me to be self-reliant," John says. "I would definitely say [temping] gives you the skills to quickly understand what people want and be able to produce [what they want]. And you learn how to read different personality types and work well with others."
 
But most of all, temping can help reaffirm a person's dreams. "Any time spent in an office reminds me it is very much something I don't want to do for the rest of my life," says John. "It's a great motivating factor."
 
Phone Sex Operator

You'd think it takes a certain type of person to seek work as a phone sex operator. (The word unsavory comes to mind.) But that's not always the case. Betty* was just a young, wide-eyed aspiring actress, new to the city, needing some cash fast when she found herself working as a phone sex operator. She came to the job after spotting an ad in the Village Voice.
 
"It was advertised as 'phone person needed for psycho-drama.' I thought it sounded like a strange kind of acting job, like a cross between voiceover work and improvisational acting, so I called," says Betty. "Of course, it is both of those things. But it wasn't until I called that I found out exactly what the 'psycho-drama' entailed."
 
Betty's job as a phone sex operator consisted of answering the phone and, if the caller was a regular customer, checking his card to see which operators or type of girls he liked to talk to. She would run his credit card and then pass along the customer's likes, dislikes and whatnot (all his pertinent fantasy information) to the operator who was to call him back. Occasionally, she would handle the call herself. "If he had a definite fantasy he would lead the call and I'd play along," says Betty. "If he didn't know what he wanted, I would hint at different things and gauge his reaction in order to figure out what he was into. Once I hit on something he liked, I would lead the call." She worked the graveyard shift (midnight to 8:00 a.m.) for five days a week for four years. Until it got "old," says Betty. She then switched to temping.
 
What were her favorite and least favorite parts of being a Girl Six? The men. "Some men were such a delight to speak to. I generally enjoyed speaking with them," says Betty. "But some were real jerks. They demanded a lot of things... They would try to use me and try to get off for free using my voice. That's not right. It's exploitative and it's not consensual. It's trying to get something for free."
 
Betty appreciates her experience as a phone sex operator because she believes it made her a more open-minded and worldly person. And, as an added bonus, she now can easily figure out if someone is lying to her on the phone. She also liked the fact that she could wear whatever she wanted, watch TV and hang up on any customers who went too far. "It was truly fascinating. I got a lot of good stories out of it. Some of the fantasies these men had were really bizarre and imaginative. But I enjoyed hearing them."
 
So, is the job right for anyone? No, but Betty believes everyone should at least try a job like it, within reason of course. "Everyone should be exposed to an area of life they're not normally exposed to, especially the seedy side of life," she says. "I think it satisfies a thirst for adventure. And I think the kind of job that exposes you to these characters can give you some adventure. And if you can get paid for it so much the better. But it's not a good idea if you plan on running for office."

*Not their real names (duh).

your dream job :: you are so fired :: having it all (sorta) :: the office crush: tim vs. jim :: buy the book, find your career :: the three jobs everyone should have (at some point) :: home

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